Careless in the Care of God

"It's time for you to give more. You've done a lot of receiving; now YOU give." God urgently communicated this desire; it is to me a constant burning, an incurable ache. I searched my heart to determine how to see this vision realized. Should I teach? Maybe get my doctorate degree? I determined this was the path, and set off on an arduous 4-month mission to gain acceptance in Regent University's PhD program in Counselor Education and Supervision. Then the answer came back: no.

I spent much time in ensuing days walking, jogging, praying, crying. Reorganizing my thoughts and my life. One day as I walked, I noticed some feathery green moss protruding from some damp earth in the ditch. A lovely deep green with a hint of yellow, I admired its simple beauty. "How hard do you think it is for that moss to fulfill its life purpose?" God spoke to me. "Not too hard," I replied. "And if you are a clay pitcher that has come off the potter's wheel, how hard would it be for you to fulfill your life's purpose of pouring lemonade, for example?" He asked. "Not hard I guess," I said. "Do you think the pitcher would have to work really hard to make that lemonade pouring happen for itself?" "No, I guess not."

In Ephesians 3:7 (MSG), Paul shares his mission statement: "This is my life work: helping people understand and respond to this Message. It came as a sheer gift to me, a real surprise, God handling all the details." My own dreams were scattered puzzle pieces, my mind milling the pieces about, blind to how they fit together. But God was quieting me, comforting me, shutting down my passionate prayers. He was the gardener, he was the potter, the master designer. What was my responsibility? To be a blade of soft moss, reaching up for air, sunshine, and rain, allowing my roots to grow deep. To be a bit of clay spinning on the wheel, yielding to the Potter's touch as he designs me for specific usefulness. Just to be.

Do you feel anxious, burdened with the weight of responsibility? Hm, something's wrong, for Jesus says "my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30). In Matthew 6 he further points out, "Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds...If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers--most of which are never seen--don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?" The parallel passage in Luke 12 records these words of Jesus: "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom."

My aching heart understands that fulfilling my life's purpose is found in simply being who I am, intimately connected to who he is. Ah, I am set free from my striving! My dream fragments: "God, tell me things and I'll tell everyone!" and "God, let me be part of the conversation!"... My master knows these well and is creatively arranging the details of their fulfillment, which he'll delight in surprising me with later. I'm looking forward to it! And that's good for the heart and soul.